Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
