half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
