so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
