Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They are going to name an STD after you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize