My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
barbara walters just said penis...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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