I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
