yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
