I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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