You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
