i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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