it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
