I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
