he puts the penis in happiness.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
