For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
