Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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