he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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