K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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