Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
