I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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