i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
