drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
