I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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