Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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