Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
