wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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