Hey man sorry I got all grabby
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
