It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize