I look better un-naked...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish i was in the wii world.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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