better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
