i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
