I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
