Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
