Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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