Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize