Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
