This is not my ceiling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
