Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
