I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
