The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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