Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
