in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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