I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize