like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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