You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
