DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize