This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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