Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize