can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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