i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
