Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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