Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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