Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
