so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
