Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
