a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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