This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
