i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
