I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
