i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
