Taylor Swift is so right about you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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