all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
