she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
