Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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