i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize