i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
