I just cut my nipple shaving
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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