He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
