sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
